Games in real life

How you know you're a geek:

Once, on my way to a gig, I was staring from a bus window when I saw something that made my stomach tighten with excitement. It was a small glowing blue ball and it meant that it gave me extra XP in order to level up! I better rush to it before player 2 got there before me and stole all my lovely points!

Then I realised I was in the real world and NOT playing Jedi Power Battles on the Playstation.

Yes.. I'd spent so many hours with my friends Paul and Adham playing SO much Playstation that I'd inbuilt in my brain that anything blue and glowing needed to be collected. Sadly, this was a house light and I felt a fool! My brain was telling me 'Al. Enough is enough. You're confusing reality with fiction'.

But.. what would happen if the gaming world and our world ever came into contact?

Ladies and gentlemen, with the help of Photoshop master Charlie, we give you:

GET A LIFE: Games in Real life.

Deadwood

We have a problem

..never outgunned

Why won't you die!

When mutation comes in handy

Taking the easy way out

Track and Savannah.. technically

Stop worrying. There is certainly no chance of Koopas tomorrow.

You will never get this

Run away!

Frogger on 'Insanity'

Simples

Life in the fast lane

Play to your strengths

Another Root Beer? We do shots y'know?

Commence slow, formulaic invasion!

There goes the neighbourhood.

Let us know what you think! Is this a world you would be happy in?

I hope basic photoshoppin' brought a smile to your face today. x

The biggest Film Fails post 2000. Worst. Films. Ever.

These are, in my opinion, the worst films I've seen of the 21st Century. Anyone involved in the making, distributing or promotion of these 'movies' needs to be put into a fridge and catapulted across the New Mexico Desert.

Let me know what you think I've missed, Geezers.

Alice In Wonderland

This is actually the worst film I have ever seen. It annoys me when I read bold statements like that, but I promise you, apart from good CGI this film gets nothing right.

Pace, plot, dialogue, acting.. all is terrible!

It basically consists of Alice meeting CGI blue creatures for an hour and a half and them saying 'You're not Alice' then moving her along. 


This culminates in her fighting a creature that British Literature prides itself on by NEVER being described. Yet here it is. In all it's Burton arrogant 'dark' glory.. 


To end, then Alice turns into some international corporate pirate on the recommendation of her recently jilted father-in-law! SERIOUSLY. Unreal.

A terrible, terrible film. There are only so many times Johnny Depp can wear a wig, mince around a lot and have a silly voice. This jumps that particular shark... and then some.

If you like a film where the only major plot point is 'Will Johnny Depp does a silly, poorly CGI'd dance' then go knock yourself out. 

For those who love movies, AVOID at all costs!


Tron Legacy


Fans of the original will then adore this movie but, in my opinion TRON LEGACY suffers from the exact faults of the first movie.

The original had too many faults that were very hard to look past and this recent sequel suffers from the exact same. It's dull.

Whilst visually stunning (even surpassing Avatar) the light-bike scene and disk battle are too short. These short, entertaining scenes are then lost in a digital sea of dialogue and *YAWN* 'travelling'.

A set piece at the end saves the film from complete monotony, but it is only this ending that differs from the original. All in all, the set up and formulaic narrative of 'Real World/ Digital Games/Chats and bus rides/Real World' just isn't enough to make the movie fun as the length of the acts are stupidly muddled.

The Wizard of Oz parallel is a nice touch, going from 2D to 3D when our hero travels to the Digital World.. but other than that there's no real originality. The young Jeff Bridges? At times great.. most of the time however it looks like his Waxwork escaped and jumped into an Apple Mac.

Fans I'm sure will relish in what, in actuality, is just TRON turned up to 11. Next time, however, please add what every good video game needs.

Fun.


Man On Wire


Possibly the most unlovable Frenchman you will ever meet... and THAT is saying something!

Granted, it is an amazing feat, but EVERYTHING about this movie is awful. The editing, the soundtrack, the 'acting', the narration....

Seriously, don't rent this movie. Just watch Challenge TV for 2 hours instead as you'll probably end up being more gripped and involved.


Twilight: New Moon


(I was made to watch this by 'er indoors. Sold only by the premise that it was a film about Vampires vs Werewolves. Please excuse the fact that when I wrote this I was choking on my own anger)


Total, total garbage.

Nothing happens for two and a half hours.. unless you count a miserable girl who thinks 'being in love' means walking around with constant PMT looking at CGI wolves..which appear for about 10 mins in an over-long film.

Obv not being in the target demographic, I still viewed the first one as 'Teen movie'.. but jesus... this is a BAD film. No 'It's for teenage girls' excuses please... it's just a poorly made and acted piece of tripe.

Last time I checked.. a movie about 'Werewolves vs Vampires' should be exciting? Unreal. 


Splice


Anything with a laughable rape scene should be avoided at all costs! 'Nuff said.

Blog to the start.

So... I've got a TV show and writing credits under my belt. My twitter and facebook fanpage seems to be growing nice-like. It seems I've done the hard stuff first. Which is odd.

So.. I started to look for what can help me build a good blog. Seeing as I have all sorts of rubbish on my mind on a daily basis (For example, 'Where pencils go'? We NEVER throw them away.. so where do they go!?') but what's the point of me blog is nobody follows/uses it? Right?

Regardless... I'll just use it as a diary of nowt else.

Anyway, http://www.chrisbrogan.com seems to have some awesme advice! So lets see if it works!

1. It starts with a picture that captures your eye.
2. No. It starts with a title that makes you pay attention.
3. The post is useful to others, and not just about you.
4. It’s easy to read, and not a big clump of text.
5. It’s written in a human voice, and not corporate-ese.
6. There’s information there that might require a second visit.
7. You write in small words where possible. Remember: eschew obfuscation.
8. You use links out to resources liberally. Share, share, share
   9. Posts that gather resources into one place are very often heavily bookmarked.
   10. Controversial posts get lots of links from people refuting your information.
   11. Popular current topic posts often get swept up in searches.
   12. Blog posts with your own original thoughts never get old (versus posting a few observations on others’ stuff).
   13. Writing reviews of products or services sometimes get links, especially if you’re early to the game.
   14. Writing how-to information goes everywhere, gets linked everywhere, is one of the best types of posts, depending on your audience.
   15. Blog posts explaining use cases for products and services are good, too.
   16. Blog topics about applying ideas to specific industries get play in that industry.
   17. Pieces written to reinvent an industry don’t get very many links, but attract comments.
   18. Writing list posts never dies. Wish it weren’t true, but my top posts are lists. Always
   19. Use appropriate plug-ins to share blog posts. I’m using Tweetmeme and ShareThis.
   20. Share only the very best posts on services like Twitter, and pipe your blog feed into sites like Facebook, LinkedIn (if it relates to your profession), and FriendFeed.
   21. Note: sharing other people’s stuff makes them a bit more interested in sharing yours.
   22. The post ends with a question that encourages more thought.
   23. The post is written such that the community might have something to add. Do you?
   24. 
       

So, over the next few days I'll work my way through them to be a multi media Jedi! At the moment I'm a pony-tailed Padawan. And you know what they say about pony tails! You lift one up, and all you see is an ass hole!


Peace out, younglins. x